The talk with soul.

Staying in an isolated darkness room, alone, to listen the words from the heart, and the soul.

He says,

S : Have you ever seen sunrise?

K : Yes. It is beautiful.

S : And it brings hopefulness and new life, isn't it?

K : Yes. I guess so.

S : How about sunset, and the night?

K : It means ending, end of the world.

S : It ends the tragedy of the day, and brings you to the dawn.

K : I hope so, but, my tragedy never end, even the sun rises and sets day after day.

S : You love midnight?

K : Yes, I enjoy it.

S : Why, it's so lonely.

K : I am lonely, don't I?

S : You ain't lonely, you have friends.

K : Can I consider them as friends?

S : Why you say so?

K : I don't know. Do they ever know what was I thinking?

S : Perhaps no, perhaps yes. Open you heart to your friends.

K : What can I do? They are getting far away from me, especially the one I have got used with. I have no one to trust about, and talk my problems to. Is it my problem or theirs? Everything changes, and the trust among us is breaking down. No cure or way to remedy.

S : What makes this?

K : I don't know.

S : Why you love midnight?

K : Because it gives me spaces to talk to you, and to fall into my dream, dream of hopes. It's relaxing, and I can only sense the smell of freedom.

S : How about day-life?

K : It is too hectic but things repeatly happening, it is less interesting. I don't like it.

S : Which day you prefer to, sunny day or rainy day?

K : Rainy day. When the rain falls, I can hear the melody of nature, it's awesome. And sometimes, it strengthens me up for fighting better future, it brings hopes, and the loves from nature. The love from nature is pure, and straight away injects into my heart and say, she loves me and asks me not to give up.

S : How about sunny afternoon?

K : It brings hope too, but not here, urban area. I would definitely fall love into sunny day if I at beaches, or grassy fields. Picture it, laying on the beach or grassy field, watching the slow flowing clouds, and the sunlights illuminate upon your body, and warm up your heart, expel the depressions. Is so happiness the life is.

S : The day flows from midnight, till the dawn, and the morning, then sunny afternoon. It comes to evening.

K : Yes, evening is sweet.

S : How you say so?

K : When orange sunbeams shoot up to the sky, the moment is great and happiness, and the scene is nice, so peacefulness. I am like standing beside the beach now, seeing the sun sets.

S : You love seeing sun sets?

K : Yes, it clears my mind. And the colour changes of the sky are amazing. From bright blue to yellow-orange, and red, then falls into grey and totally dark at last. Colours bring hopes too. I wish to capture colours of happiness.

S : But, night comes after evening. You said night is end of the world, how can things change in a sudden.

K : Things can change in a sudden. Tragedy usually happen in a sudden, without signalling, right?

S : I guess you are right, but, do you believe night brings hope too?

K : I know what you're trying to say. Night ends the tragedy and brings another new hope. But, it turns the earth into darkness. Everything went dark. It likes grabbing back all the hope from people.

S : What is the different between night and midnight?

K : One is end of the day, and one is begining of the day.

S : They go in a circle right? The day comes and goes, the sun rises and sets, don't they go likes this?

K : Hmm, yeee......sss.

S : There is no gap between night and midnight. And for sure, hope is always be there.

K : Hmmm.

S : Have you seen full moon at night?

K : Sometimes.

S : And stars?

K : Usually, but is difficult to see them in city.

S : Is the scene nice?

K : Can I say no?

S : I don't think you will say no. You love stars and moon. Do you still remember? Years before, you went to P.R. You laid on the beach, and you looked up to the sky. The surrounding was dark, so, the stars and moon were clearly shown. There were million of stars twinkling in the sky, and the shadow of the stars on the surface of sea. You love this, even now. You were so into the scene. And the sea breeze, made you a song of soul. Night is peaceful. It never end people's hope up.

K : Yes, I am still loving this. This is why I want to be a backpacker, to search for another new life, and freedom of life, and gain knowledge.

S : Do you believe night is not a end of hope, but leads you to another new hope now?

K : I must believe it.

S : Every stage of day gives you hope, why are you still so hopeless?

K : I am sorry, I should be cheerful.

S : You still have a lot of problems have not been settled, can sort out any way to resolve?

K : Yes, I still have tonnes of problems. But I don't mind now. I believe solutions will appear slowly, and there is the time I solve them up.

S : Do you feel happy now?

K : No, I don't feel happy, but, I felt relieved.

S : What are you going to do now?

K : Reset my targets.

S : You had the targets.

K : Yes, I do. I classed them into four - Studies, Travel, Love and Life. But, I must rearrange my targets in studies now.

S : Why?

K : My first target in Studies is started at Alevels. I think I shouldnt left my SPM result out.

S : Why you left it out?

K : First of all, I thought it doesnt affect my future very much, because I am looking for Jan intake. But now, I shouldnt let it be a regret in my life, I want it scores prefectly, 11A1's.

S : You can do it, but don't give too much of stress to yourself. You experinced it, you lost control. And you felt the world is end, and you are going to die. You know these, you felt you're mad, and going to mentally disorder.

K : I know. Thank you.

S : Nothing is prefect, it is not necessary to get prefect for everything.

K : I know.

S : Try your best, and be hardworking if you are aiming for straight.

K : I know.

S : Rearrange your timetable again.

K : I know.

S : Hope is omnipresent. Don't feel hopeless.

K : I know.

S : I should leave. See you, and I'll wait for the good news.

K : Thank you.

The talk ends at 1.14am. It is midnight now, and this is why I love midnight.

*I will be fine*

IsayIloveYou,DoYouhearMe.ILoveYouforEternity.

Kal 28June 1.17am

Painful.

Heart starts to feel pain, I know something is going to happen sooner or later.

DEATH.

Kal 26June 10.47pm

Happy Birthdays.

I am watching Titanic for the third times, within five days, huhuhuhu, that's not importantXD

Happy awesome 16, Lok & Happy Birthday, Jocelyn.

All the Best.

Loveeee.

Kal 23June 10.56pm

*Edit: ohhhhh, the cheese cake was nice*~ and it was H.A.R.D. to cut, to eat and to digest. hahaha.

Depressing.

Non of any word can describe my feelings right now, and there is probably no reason to say it out, just keep it as secret. As long as I know, and you do.

Want to escape from this world for a little while, no matter it just a second, that's enough.

Kal 23June 12.18am

Probs.

Because I'm different, yupp, I must believe I'm different from others.So, SSSSStop worrying! Kisses.

Kal 21 June

Titanic.

This was happened 97 years ago..........

Facts:

No other ship has captured the world's attention, quite like the Titanic ship. Constructed to be unsinkable, this first class ocean liner set sail on April 10, 1912. The world had awaited the maiden voyage of this luxury liner for months. The White Star Line had taken great care to publicize the fantastic engineering of the Titanic and the world waited with baited breath for the ship to make her first voyage.
Passengers boarding the Titanic
As the passengers boarded the gangplank at Southampton, England for a trans-Atlantic crossing they were no doubt pleased to be a part of the maiden voyage of the invincible Titanic ship. Little did they know, however; that in just a few short days their names and the Titanic would be forever immortalized.
The Titanic ship disaster began, ironically enough as the ship was heading out to sea. The ship's builders had spared no expense in assuring that the Titanic would not only be the safest ship on the waters, but also the largest. This fact proved to be disastrous from the beginning. The larger ship managed to suck a much smaller vessel, the New York, into her wake as she began plowing through the waters with her massive propellers. The two ships came very close to colliding. This near miss may have set a few nerves on edge, but it was nothing compared to what would come later.
The Titanic Leaving Queenstown
Despite the close call, the first few days of the ship's voyage in no way indicated the tragic history of Titanic ship. Information of Titanic records indicate the ship made two ports of call, both with no incident. After the stop in Queenstown, Ireland to take on more passengers, the RMS Titanic set sail once again, headed for her destination in New York.
For four days the ship's elite passengers reveled in the brand new amenities of the Titanic ship, replete with every modern luxury known at the time. During the early part of the 20th century, it was considered quite sophisticated for wealthy families to spend portions of their time in Europe, which necessitated crossing the Atlantic at least once per year. Even to these jaded travelers, however, the Titanic ship was like no other. Nothing had been spared to insure the comfort of the first class guests. The ship was even equipped with only 20 lifeboats, so that precious deck space for the first class passengers would not be taken up by bulky lifeboats.
Down below, however, it was a different story. While the luxury liner teemed with a significant number of first class passengers, hundreds of second class and third class passengers survived the first few days of the voyage in cramped compartments. Most of these individuals were immigrant families who had scraped together every bit of money they had to travel to America aboard the grandest, and supposedly, safest ship ever built.
When the Titanic ship disaster finally reached its pinnacle on April 14th, each and every passenger on board; wealthy and poor alike; were forced to fight for their very survival. In the end only 705 persons survived the sinking of the ship, out of 2,228 passengers and crew members. 1,523 lives were lost when the Titanic ship beneath the ice cold waters of the Atlantic.
On the morning of April 15, 1912, the sinking of the Titanic the previous night shocked the world. The year had dawned bright with promise and the maiden voyage of the Titanic was a symbol of the advances mankind had made in the last few years. The ship was considered to have been so well constructed it was believed she could sustain any amount of damage and still remain afloat. Late on the night of April 14, 1912, the sinking of the Titanic proved this idea wrong in a horribly tragic way.
The causes of Titanic to sink have been the subject of much study and debate. Obviously, the instigating factor was the collision with the iceberg; however the question of 'how did it sink' is frequently the center of most questions regarding the Titanic.
In 1912 the sinking of the Titanic began late on the night of April 14th. Information on the sinking Titanic indicates that the ship approached a massive iceberg, and although efforts were made to steer clear of the large frozen mass, all efforts were to no avail. Sadly, further records of the Titanic accident history indicate that the Titanic disaster may very well have been able to have been completely avoided had officers on ship paid heed to reports received earlier regarding the frozen waters they were approaching.
Even though crew members were desperately trying to turn the ship in the other direction, when the ship collided with the berg a massive rip was torn parallel across the ship's bulk. The Titanic sinking began almost immediately, as the ship began to take on water. Surprisingly, many of the passengers remained unaware of this fact. Some passengers reported hearing and feeling a strange quivering in the ship; however, they did not attribute this to any potential problem and went on about their business.
Others had seen the iceberg has it passed their window and hurriedly donned dressing gowns and robes, anxious to discover whether or not they had truly hit the berg. At first, passengers were assured that there would only be a slight delay and were given no indication of the true severity of the situation. Passengers located at strategic points in the ship already knew the devastating truth however: the Titanic was sinking and sinking fast. An SOS was sent out to neighboring ships. The Carpathia picked up the ship's distress call and radioed back to let the ship's crew know they were on their way. It would be too late, however. By the time the Carpathia arrived, all that remained of the Titanic was a handful of lifeboats filled with shocked survivors.
Since the ship sank to her watery grave, almost one hundred years ago, a number of theories have been put forth to explain how in the year of 1912 the sinking of the Titanic could have occurred. Some theories suggest that had the ship's crew not attempted to turn the ship in the opposite direction of the iceberg and instead took the blow head-on, the collision would not have resulted in such catastrophic disaster. Consequently, neighboring ships in the area had reported earlier in the evening that the waters ahead contained numerous masses of solid ice and that approaching ships should proceed with caution. The Titanic, however, thought to be unsinkable, plowed full speed ahead. This proved to be a fatal mistake and is certainly one of the factors that led to the disaster.
How many people survived the Titanic is one of the most frequently asked questions regarding the history of this legendary ship. Of the 2,227 passengers and crew members who set sail, only 705 Titanic passengers survived.

Film:

In 1996, treasure hunter Brock Lovett (Bill Paxton) and his team explore the wreck of the RMS Titanic, searching for a necklace set with a valuable blue diamond called the Heart of the Ocean. Unsuccessful, they instead discover a drawing of a young woman reclining nude, wearing the Heart of the Ocean, dated the day the Titanic sank. One-hundred-and-one-year-old Rose Dawson Calvert (Gloria Stuart) learns of the drawing, and contacts Lovett to inform him that she is the woman in the drawing. She and her granddaughter Elizabeth "Lizzy" Calvert (Suzy Amis) visit Lovett and his skeptical team on his salvage ship. When asked if she knew the whereabouts of the necklace, Rose recalls her memories aboard the Titanic, revealing for the first time that she was Rose DeWitt Bukater, a passenger believed to have died in the sinking.
In 1912, the upper-class 17-year-old Rose (Kate Winslet) boards the ship in Southampton, England with her fiancé Caledon "Cal" Hockley (Billy Zane), the son of a Pittsburgh steel tycoon, and her mother, Ruth DeWitt Bukater (Frances Fisher). Both Cal and Ruth stress the importance of Rose's engagement to Cal, since the marriage will mean the eradication of the Dewitt-Bukater debts; while they have the outward appearance of being upper-class, Rose and her mother are financially broke. Distraught and frustrated by her engagement to the controlling Cal and the pressure her mother is putting on her to go through with the marriage, Rose attempts suicide by jumping from the stern. Before she leaps, a drifter and artist named Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) intervenes. Initially, Cal, his friends, and the sailors, overhearing Rose's screams, believe Jack attempted to rape her. She explains Jack saved her life, hiding her suicide attempt by explaining she slipped after trying to see the propellers. Jack supports the claim, although Hockley's manservant, former Pinkerton agent Spicer Lovejoy (David Warner), is unconvinced. Jack and Rose strike up a tentative friendship as she thanks him for his corroboration, and he shares stories of his adventures traveling and sketching. Their bond deepens when they leave a stuffy first-class formal dinner of the rapport-building wealthy for a much livelier gathering of Irish dance, music and ale in third-class.
Cal is informed of Rose's partying in steerage and, during breakfast the following morning, flips the table in rage as he angrily forbids her to meet Jack again. However, after witnessing a woman encouraging her seven-year-old daughter to behave like a "proper lady" at tea, Rose defies him and her mother, asking Jack to sketch her nude and wearing only the Heart of the Ocean, an engagement present from Cal. Afterwards, the two playfully run away from Lovejoy, going below deck to the ship's cargo hold. They enter William Carter's Renault and proceed to make love, before moving to the ship's forward well deck. Rose decides when they arrive in New York, she will leave the ship with Jack. They then witness the ship's fatal collision with an iceberg. After overhearing the ship's lookouts discussing how serious the collision is, Rose tells Jack they should warn her mother and Cal. Meanwhile, Cal discovers Rose's nude drawing and her taunting note in his safe, so he frames Jack for stealing the Heart of the Ocean by having Lovejoy plant it in Jack's pocket. Upon learning Cal intends to leave Jack to die below deck, Rose runs away from him and her mother to rescue him from imprisonment in the master-at-arms's office.
Jack and Rose return to the top deck. Cal and Jack, though enemies, both want Rose safe, so they persuade her to board a lifeboat. But after realizing that she cannot leave Jack, Rose jumps back on the ship and reunites with him in the ship's first-class staircase. Infuriated, Cal takes Lovejoy's pistol and chases Jack and Rose down the decks and into the flooded first-class dining saloon. When Cal runs out of ammunition, he realizes he left the Heart of the Ocean in Rose's overcoat. Cal abandons Lovejoy and returns to the boat deck, where he boards Collapsible A by pretending to look after an abandoned child, as the officer he had previously bribed into letting him onto a lifeboat throws the money in his face. When Jack and Rose return to the top deck, the lifeboats have gone, and they are washed into the freezing Atlantic waters once the ship sinks. Jack and Rose manage to grab hold of a carved oak panel, which can only support one person. Jack dies of hypothermia, but Rose is rescued when Fifth Officer Harold Lowe returns with Lifeboat 14 with five other survivors.
Rose is taken by the RMS Carpathia to New York, where she gives her name as Rose Dawson (adopting Jack's surname, leading everyone to believe Rose DeWitt Bukater died on the Titanic). She also sees Cal for the last time on Carpathia's deck, looking for her (she explains he would later kill himself following the Wall Street Crash in 1929, after he lost everything). Having completed her story, the elderly Rose goes to the stern of Lovett's ship. After she steps onto the railing, it is revealed she still has the Heart of the Ocean in her possession. She drops the diamond into the water, sending it to join the remains of the most important event of her life. The film ends with a shot of Rose in bed. Around her are pictures of her doing everything she said she would do with Jack throughout her life. The final shot of the film is a vision of the young Rose reuniting with Jack at the Grand Staircase of the Titanic, surrounded and applauded by those who perished on the ship, as he kisses her.

Jack Dawson has meant the world to Rose Dewitt-Bukater.

They were both died in the liner-sinking but Rose Dawson would live, she knew it, and she stayed alive for Jack.

Kal 21June 1.43am

As.

Hahahahahahahaha, can I consider myself improved?

I got B4 for Bm, from C5 to B4, hmmmmmmm.

And my Favourite Sub, Bioooooo, hahahahahahahaha, I got B3, Hurrraaaaaaaaay, F.U.C.K! From A to B!

I HATE Bs!
I HATE Cs!
I HATE Ds!
I LOVE As!

Kal 17June 10.31pm

[I Recycle ....A LoT]

Craps.

Again and again, you keep remind me, I'm not prefect.

Yes I know, Yes I swear I know, please, just stop reminding me.

I have already tried my best to do better, though, the effect doesnt clearly shown, I really did. It isn't a simple task, it needs time, and you don't seem to give me more. Should I consider myself lucky, or not?

Good is not enough when Better is expected and Best is possible.

Iambetterthanbutnotthebest,whatisthewaytoimprove?

Kal 17June 12.54am

Dancing.

It's getting late,

I'm making my way over to my favourite place,

gotta get my body moving shake the stress away,

Iwasn't looking for nobody when you looked my way,

possible candidates, yeahh.

Who knew,

that you'd be up in here lookin like you do,

you're making staying over here impossible,

baby I must say your aura is incredible,

If you don't have to go, don't~

Do you know what you started

I just came here to party,

But now we're rocking on the dancefloor,

acting naughty,

your hands around my waist,

just let the music play,

we're hand in hand,

chest to chest,

And now we're face to face,

I wanna take you away,

Let's escape into the music,

DJ let it plays,

I just can't refuse it,

Like the way you do this,

keep on rocking to it,

please don't stop the music!

Come on, peoples! Get the music on and have party tonight~

Let's dance~

Whuuuuuuwhuuuuu,

Don't ask me why, I was just so high in mood today!

Dance, danCE, dANCE, DANCE, D.A.N.C.E.E!

Kal 13June 12.44am

Perfect.

We always heard that, Practise makes Perfect, but, we have also been told that Nothing is Perfect.

I am not perfect, sorry.

Kal 9June 10.42pm

Worst day.

I want to pronounce that:

TODAY IS MY WORST DAY, I SWEAR!

I HATE JUNE 9!

I REALLY REALLY DO!

MESSED UP THINGS WITH JUST A SIMPLE , NEGLIGIBLE MATTER!

FUCK MYSELF OFF!

WHY AM I SO FAILURE?

TELL ME WHY!

SUCKER!

I WANT SCREAM OUT LOUDLY!

I WANT WRACK PEOPLES!

I WANT KILL PEOPLE and myself.

I HATE JUNE 9!

Kal 9June 1.57am

Early morning.

It is 6.26am now. Good Morning Peoples, and Good Night for Kal. Is time to sleep. zZzZz.

Today must be a Good and Peaceful morning, enjoy your day peoples.

Kal 8June 6.29am

I love you, the one I love the most, but, where are you?

My beloved, do you love me as much as I do?

I need not promises.

Tell me where are you, let me get over to be with you.

Plato's Eternity.

Platonic love, the term interpreted as non-sexual friendly relationship these days, is one of the most misinterpreted term of all time. Plato's idea of the perfect love is not at all just between friends, although it can be non-sexual. In Plato's original theory, the perfect 'platonic' love is pure, emotional and spiritual. When two are 'platonically' in love, they shouldn't just be attracted by physical appearances. They would have fallen in love emotionally and spiritually. This means that their minds would bind and thus know what each other is thinking about at all times.

Romance in Aegean Sea.

Kal 7June 10.56pm

Holidays.

Holidays, I got nothing to do in holidays, nothing really get my mood to do it.

I am just like a phantom....of my house, wasting time.

Anyone, anything, anyhow, save me!

Kal 4June 12.44am

AGM.

Wow, St John AGM is around the corner...............Who cares, at least not for me. And, I am not going to attend this
U.S.E.L.E.S.S thingy~

I, now, am so suffered with those reports, a lot of things to type, and I don't even know where to start. Do those big-big-people ever check every single page of my reports? Pissoff, sure they won't, but still asking me to do it, kind of wasting my time.
Anyway, that's my respondsible. err, I should resign this stupid post early in the year. F.

Oh yea, who is my up-coming head and assistant of PD, can A.N.Y.B.O.D.Y tell me this? I can't imagine what will happen next, hopefully will W.O.R.S.E than now, cause I want Y.O.U -not my PD commitee members, I know some small group of my friends will get my mean. huuray.- D.I.E. hahahahahahahahahahha. Evil.

Let's imagine how is our AGM, ermm, bore, maybe. Dry and not interesting at all, certainly. hahahaha, cause you aren't a good L. hahaahahahahhaa.

Then, let's see what will come out during the performance, please not put on some silly show. I will definitely wrack you~

Don't feel want to waste my time on here for the AGM~ anymore, bye.

Oh yea, if you, yupp, Y.O.U not satisfy with this post, just press 'Alt+F4'. toodles.

Kal 3June 11.43pm

P/S This is my blog, don't tell me what to say or what not to say.

Rain.

Another night of raining.

I love you.

Kal 3Jun 12.50am